A singles group once asked me to give a talk on how to know if a potential partner is a good one. I developed this list with the help of Clarrisa Pinkolas Estes’ book “How To Love A Woman”.
1. In the relationship you feel free to be fully yourself
2. Choose someone as if you are blind
3. Choose someone who has the ability to learn
5. Choose someone who when you hurt them,can feel the pain and are willing to show
the pain. Also, when they hurt you, they see your pain and feel sorry.
6. Choose someone who can care for themself as an independent being both emotionally
7. Pick someone who has interests of their own
8. Pick someone who has similar passions
9. Choose someone who has similar values and beliefs
10. Choose someone who is compassionate
11. Choose someone who can laugh at themselves
12. Choose someone who is able to overlook and accept faults and idiosyncracies
13. Don’t get involved with someone you have to make excuses for, or expect that you
14. You are friends as well as lovers
15. Choose someone who makes your life bigger, not smaller
16. Choose someone who gets along with, or has made peace with their parents
Randy Colker, Ph.D.